“How Dare You Make Me Feel Sadness!” says White Man Whose Grandparents Literally Enslaved People

Sad, white man in turtleneck

Carlisle James felt “angry and sad” — feelings that came on suddenly after someone stated the fact that his grandparents’ choices were really fucked up.

“I don’t get why they have to make me feel bad about it,” said James. “It’s not like I did anything at all or am doing anything now by taking it personally and ignoring facts.”

White people everywhere are being afflicted with feelings of sadness, also known as “The Big Sad” coined by white-centric media outlets such as pretty much all of them.

“It’s more complicated than that,” continued James. “It was a different time. My friend Jeff, who is also white, agrees with me. I don’t get why we need to remember history because it’s not like there is any violence against Black people or police brutality now.”

Reporters tried to reach Jeff for comment, but he was busy reading his big book of facts called “The Bible.”

White people are certainly being made to feel sad all over the United States today. Family gatherings and holidays like Thanksgiving (more colloquially known as Indigenous People Massacre Day) have been ruined because there is no more joy when you get sad sometimes.

All of these facts white people are being told have created a huge shift. The solution will not be easy, but what is clear is that those who are finally standing up for themselves after centuries of dehumanization, enslavement and torture, really need to stop hurting white people’s feelings.

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